{"id":2040,"date":"2019-06-05T11:23:41","date_gmt":"2019-06-05T09:23:41","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/mrozowisko.pl\/?p=2040"},"modified":"2019-06-05T17:25:46","modified_gmt":"2019-06-05T15:25:46","slug":"jak-zostalismy-szoferami-naszych-dzieci","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/mrozowisko.pl\/en\/blog\/2019\/06\/05\/jak-zostalismy-szoferami-naszych-dzieci\/","title":{"rendered":"How we became the drivers of our children and how we stopped being them"},"content":{"rendered":"

It's not like we're exaggerating with the amount of extra classes. We believe that one or two additional activities are the maximum load. We believe that a child must have time to get bored and develop.<\/strong> It seems to be modest with out-of-school activities, and actually something happens every day. For example: the school organizes something additional, such as a recitation contest, scouting also organizes something, and still a grandmother and grandpa's day, etc. And if we have more than one child, we multiply this list twice or more. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Strasznie bym sk\u0142ama\u0142 gdybym powiedzia\u0142, \u017ce moje zaanga\u017cowanie w wo\u017cenie dzieci by\u0142o r\u00f3wne z zaanga\u017cowaniem Basi. To ona dzielnie codziennie odhacza\u0142a 2\/3 (jak nie wi\u0119cej) grafiku. Co by\u0107 mo\u017ce da si\u0119 usprawiedliwi\u0107…bo moja praca… nie b\u0119d\u0119 si\u0119 pogr\u0105\u017ca\u0142 \ud83d\ude42 . Nie da si\u0119 tego usprawiedliwi\u0107 \ud83d\ude42 Honey, you are great and thank You for that!<\/strong> <\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"Jak
Sometimes we need a distance to notice something<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n\n\n\n

The distance, however, allowed me to see that something was "spying" in this adult life.<\/strong> Instead of enjoying freedom, then we invent "extra classes" <\/strong>and we have great excuses that we do it. What? Here are a few of them:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Security - perfect justification<\/h3>\n\n\n\n

After asking the question why we carry our children everywhere, the answer hit me like a rabid rhino in a safari roadster. SECURITY<\/strong>. Fantastic word. Key word. A word that is not discussed. Well, because if something "happens" we will fight in the chest and mumble: "our fault, our fault, our very great wine, we could carry them after all." <\/p>\n\n\n\n

And my parents did not drive me anywhere. They had a car, they had time, but ... no, they did not drive, that's all. I live in a medium-sized town and from the first grade of primary school I had to deal with transport myself :). Somehow I survived.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There used to be a smaller movement<\/h3>\n\n\n\n

Mo\u017ce i by\u0142 mniejszy ale czym to si\u0119 je\u017adzi\u0142o w latach 80 tych i 90 tych :). Pami\u0119tacie? Maluchy, polonezy, klepane mercedesy, golfy ech…. pi\u0119kne czasy. No ale poza “t\u0119sknot\u0105” za 400 km, lipcow\u0105 podr\u00f3\u017c\u0105 z rodzicami i starszym bratem Fiatem 126p, z baga\u017cami na dachu i w \u015brodku (da\u0142o si\u0119 tam co\u015b jeszcze w\u0142o\u017cy\u0107 \ud83d\ude42 ), to powiedzmy sobie szczerze: my\u015bl technologiczna i systemy bezpiecze\u0144stwa w tych samochodach they were re-inventing<\/strong>. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

At one time, life was slower<\/h3>\n\n\n\n

I remember that in primary and secondary school I went to additional English, SKSy and still scouts, schola, community meetings, and to school I had 8 km of forest - because I just went to the forest technical school. Besides, I also had almost 2 km to go to primary school, because my city is not very long for it. And I do not know if it was slower than it is today. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

We have prepared such a fate for ourselves<\/h3>\n\n\n\n

You have to honestly admit: it's our fault. It is us as parents who decide what our children are involved in. Sometimes "sits on the brain" <\/strong>and we are trying to make robots out of children: 2-3 additional languages, learning to dance, to play and sing. And what happens in bigger cities, where the possibilities are bigger? I heard lately that Cooking learning is very popular <\/strong>- such a master chef for children. Massacre. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

I certainly did not mention even 1% of this what parents are condemning their children to.<\/strong> In the name of what? A better start? Free jokes. Probably this tormented kid, he will want to rest from everything, instead of shaping his personality and doing something that will push the world forward. Sometimes such rest can last a lifetime. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Psychologists are alarming that they are increasingly dealing with burnout syndrome, already in school-age children. <\/strong>Earlier, occupational burnout mainly concerned people with 10 years and more seniority.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

We do not guarantee 100% safety for our children<\/h3>\n\n\n\n

Let us reconcile with the fact that it is impossible. It is true that hurts all parents<\/strong>. In addition, by transporting our children everywhere, we protect them too much and defer only during their confrontation with road hazards. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

We also reduce their chances of winning<\/strong> in this clash. We did not give them the opportunity to practice, we did not let them suffer small failures when they were of the first grade and their independence horizon reached to the grocery store and back. From teenagers, however, we expect that they will not "blame" anything when they sit behind the wheel of their first car. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Less traffic on roads and a calmer lifestyle are arguments that are also highly debatable. Maybe there is more traffic today, but the cars are more intelligent than the statistical high school graduate. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"Jak<\/figure>\n\n\n\n

"Black numbers" are not so black<\/h3>\n\n\n\n

All police statistics are consistent: the number of accidents involving pedestrians is decreasing. For this, accidents involving children in cars are disturbingly rising or have been equal for several years. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

For example: accidents involving children on foot, aged 7-14 in 2018 were: 678 (658 injured and 20 killed). The incidents involving children as passengers who were injured were: 949 (936 wounded and 13 dead), that is almost 30% more. <\/h4>\n\n\n\n

678 accidents for 2.1 million children aged 7-14. <\/strong>Despite the undoubted tragedies associated with any accident where the child is a victim, these numbers in the country show that our children are safe.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

How we stopped being the drivers of our children<\/h3>\n\n\n\n

In September 2018 we made a decision. No more carrying our children. In autumn and winter there are buses, in spring and summer bicycles, rollers, etc. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

At the beginning we checked how our children ride bicycles. "They passed the exam" driving through the street through the most difficult intersections (Tymoteusz already has a bicycle card, Ewa being two years younger was riding a bicycle path) in the city, and showing what they can do in a bicycle town. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then we checked if they can ride a bus. Three joint rides were enough and they were already independent.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"Jak
Nasze dzieci pokocha\u0142y doje\u017cd\u017canie na rowerze \ud83d\ude42<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n\n\n\n

Effects?<\/h3>\n\n\n\n

Our children discovered that without parents, they are usually faster at home<\/strong>. And in teenagers it does not matter;). That's why they love bicycles, buses, rollers, even walking trips - because they do not have to stay in the day room until we finish work. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

In addition, our children they discovered what it means to mix in a small town <\/strong>(11-12 ty\u015b mieszka\u0144c\u00f3w) \ud83d\ude42 . Pewnego wieczoru dosta\u0142em telefon od zatroskanych znajomych, \u017ce widzieli naszego dzieciaka jak jecha\u0142 na rowerze bez kasku. Ewczan i Tymczan zrozumieli, \u017ce nie ma anonimowo\u015bci w ma\u0142ych miasteczkach. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

And he turned over ...<\/h3>\n\n\n\n

Scene from home:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

"- Honey, I will take him to this English because it's raining. - said my wife.
- It's raining a little, but why do you want to take it right away? - I asked.
- Because it's raining. - answered my wife in accordance with the iron logic. "<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Sometimes habits and overprotection, they fight good decisions. <\/strong>In the end, it turned out that Young drove in the rain by bicycle. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

No i si\u0119 wywr\u00f3ci\u0142, bo droga by\u0142a \u015bliska. Wr\u00f3ci\u0142 lekko zap\u0142akany – bola\u0142o go obite kolano. Ogarn\u0105\u0142 si\u0119 z b\u0142ota i… z w\u0142asnej ch\u0119ci pojecha\u0142 jeszcze raz rowerem. Tym razem obieca\u0142, \u017ce b\u0119dzie bardziej uwa\u017ca\u0142 \ud83d\ude42 . Szacun ludzi ulicy dla M\u0142odego! <\/h4>\n\n\n\n

It was confirmed that the decision not to transport children was good. Our child, who by nature is the master of "i\u015b\u0107" on the smallest line of resistance (after one of his parents: *), showed that any obstacle would not cause him to give up. <\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Maybe it will allow him, in adult life, not to look for a "hole in the whole" and not look for "simple justifications", only efficiently avoided minor obstacles <\/strong>on the way to your goals? <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Do not you have the impression that we are getting into a storm of duties? <\/h4>\n\n\n\n

Sometimes we try to heal our own complexes, realizing our unfulfilled passions, with our children's hands. Sometimes we can not see their natural talents in our children, so we push them to all possible additional activities. Sometimes additional activities cost us so much that we have to work more to pay them. The circle closes and we fall on our face with fatigue.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

First of all, let's stop being over-protective. Let the children make mistakes. Let them give them the right to do so. Let them exercise independence from an early age, because they will learn to swim in a shallow pool rather than in a deep pool. Let us be a safe port for them, and not a protective suit, without which they can not cope in their lives. By the way, we'll have some free time.<\/strong><\/p>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"A ride to and from school, additional activities, swimming pool, learning to play on ... this list is endless. Every day we get in the car, because we're out too late. Why is it too late? Because one of the "kids" decided to explore the secrets of the art of spreading jam on a sandwich with a movement linking Tai Chi with Krav Maga. Our children's weekly graphics are similar to the graphics of a medium-sized company president. In addition, these small ruthless CEOs have two chauffeurs. Us. Are we sure we wanted to become the drivers of our children?","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":2054,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[80],"tags":[112,72,73,111],"class_list":{"0":"post-2040","1":"post","2":"type-post","3":"status-publish","4":"format-standard","5":"has-post-thumbnail","7":"category-rodzicielstwo","8":"tag-obowiazki","9":"tag-parenting","10":"tag-rodzicielstwo","11":"tag-wychowywanie"},"yoast_head":"\nJak zostali\u015bmy szoferami naszych dzieci i jak przestali\u015bmy nimi by\u0107 - Mrozowisko.pl<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Jeste\u015bmy nadopieku\u0144czy. 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Tylko po co to wszystko?","breadcrumb":{"@id":"https:\/\/mrozowisko.pl\/blog\/2019\/06\/05\/jak-zostalismy-szoferami-naszych-dzieci\/#breadcrumb"},"inLanguage":"en-US","potentialAction":[{"@type":"ReadAction","target":["https:\/\/mrozowisko.pl\/blog\/2019\/06\/05\/jak-zostalismy-szoferami-naszych-dzieci\/"]}]},{"@type":"ImageObject","inLanguage":"en-US","@id":"https:\/\/mrozowisko.pl\/blog\/2019\/06\/05\/jak-zostalismy-szoferami-naszych-dzieci\/#primaryimage","url":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/mrozowisko.pl\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/06\/vintage-1950s-887272_1920.jpg?fit=1920%2C1280&ssl=1","contentUrl":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/mrozowisko.pl\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/06\/vintage-1950s-887272_1920.jpg?fit=1920%2C1280&ssl=1","width":1920,"height":1280,"caption":"Jak zostali\u015bmy szoferami naszych dzieci"},{"@type":"BreadcrumbList","@id":"https:\/\/mrozowisko.pl\/blog\/2019\/06\/05\/jak-zostalismy-szoferami-naszych-dzieci\/#breadcrumb","itemListElement":[{"@type":"ListItem","position":1,"name":"Strona g\u0142\u00f3wna","item":"https:\/\/mrozowisko.pl\/"},{"@type":"ListItem","position":2,"name":"Jak zostali\u015bmy szoferami naszych dzieci i jak przestali\u015bmy nimi by\u0107"}]},{"@type":"WebSite","@id":"https:\/\/mrozowisko.pl\/#website","url":"https:\/\/mrozowisko.pl\/","name":"Mrozowisko.pl","description":"Jak by\u0107 cz\u0142owiekiem renesansu w XXI wieku","potentialAction":[{"@type":"SearchAction","target":{"@type":"EntryPoint","urlTemplate":"https:\/\/mrozowisko.pl\/?s={search_term_string}"},"query-input":{"@type":"PropertyValueSpecification","valueRequired":true,"valueName":"search_term_string"}}],"inLanguage":"en-US"},{"@type":"Person","@id":"https:\/\/mrozowisko.pl\/#\/schema\/person\/aa66a8fde6e41d8f2cbbaa1f568f3a16","name":"Daniel Mr\u00f3z","image":{"@type":"ImageObject","inLanguage":"en-US","@id":"https:\/\/mrozowisko.pl\/#\/schema\/person\/image\/","url":"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/76b998cb0f1adc17ca2251888d7f0390?s=96&d=mm&r=g","contentUrl":"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/76b998cb0f1adc17ca2251888d7f0390?s=96&d=mm&r=g","caption":"Daniel Mr\u00f3z"},"description":"Na co dzie\u0144, jestem m\u0119\u017cem, tat\u0105, szefem, pracownikiem, przyrodnikiem, storytellerem, ratownikiem przedmedycznym, samoukiem w zakresie hodowli i ratowania dwug\u0142owych jednoro\u017cc\u00f3w, chirurgiem drzew (tak, jest co\u015b takiego), dyplomowanym operatorem pi\u0142y \u0142a\u0144cuchowej, bushcraftowcem, w\u0142a\u015bcicielem prawdopodobnie najbardziej leniwego ogara (w tej cz\u0119\u015bci \u015bwiata) i mam przekonanie, \u017ce kto\u015b, kiedy\u015b przeczyta to co pisz\u0119. W wolnych chwilach buduj\u0119 wehiku\u0142 czasu, aby co nieco poprawi\u0107 w historii \u015awiata (np: czy wiecie, \u017ce przepis na Coca-Col\u0119, wymy\u015bli\u0142 Kola \u017bytnicki z Bia\u0142ej spod Suwa\u0142k?). Wehiku\u0142, jest mi r\u00f3wnie\u017c niezb\u0119dny, aby odpisa\u0107 na wszystkie zaleg\u0142e maile oraz powstawia\u0107 brakuj\u0105ce przecinki w moich tekstach. Wi\u0119cej info o mnie i ca\u0142\u0105 histori\u0119 Koli z Bia\u0142ej znajdziesz poni\u017cej pod ikonk\u0105 globusa.","sameAs":["http:\/\/mrozowisko.pl\/o-mnie\/","https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/aldaron.factory","https:\/\/www.instagram.com\/mrozowisko.pl","https:\/\/www.linkedin.com"],"url":"https:\/\/mrozowisko.pl\/en\/blog\/author\/admin\/"}]}},"jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/mrozowisko.pl\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/06\/vintage-1950s-887272_1920.jpg?fit=1920%2C1280&ssl=1","jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p9JFAG-wU","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/mrozowisko.pl\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2040"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/mrozowisko.pl\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/mrozowisko.pl\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mrozowisko.pl\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mrozowisko.pl\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=2040"}],"version-history":[{"count":26,"href":"https:\/\/mrozowisko.pl\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2040\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":2079,"href":"https:\/\/mrozowisko.pl\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2040\/revisions\/2079"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mrozowisko.pl\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/2054"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/mrozowisko.pl\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=2040"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mrozowisko.pl\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=2040"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mrozowisko.pl\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=2040"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}